Embarrassment and Enlightenment

You learn life the hard way. We live in a society and it becomes important to understand the people around us and behave accordingly. Here goes my story......

I was traveling by bus one fine day comfortably seated, thinking of the words my friend said to me the other day. The other day I refused a beggar to give any money and I was bit harsh on him. My good friend who was with me gave him some money and called me cold-hearted insensitive jerk. I argued with him for a long time that begging should not be encouraged. But his words did hit me hard and I was still thinking if I was really cold-hearted.

Then an old man(must be above 70) got into the bus and stood beside me as there were no seats vacant. Here was a chance to satisfy my heart that I was actually a good guy and could do good things. I got up from my seat and offered him my seat politely. He looked(actually a horrible stare) at me toe to head and ignored my offer. I persisted and told him he can have my seat.

Next moment I was hit by a tempest. He burst out at me, "Are you having fun with me or playing tricks? I may be a old man but I don't need your sympathy. Bloody young brats don't know how to respect their elders! What the hell do you think of yourself? Do you think I am helpless?". As long as I looked into his eyes I did not feel angry but as I glanced around, other people mostly young guys who were seated around were smirking and passing comments like "jerk trying to be a hero". That got to my nerves and I shouted back at the old man "What's wrong if I offered you a seat? I felt sorry for your knees old man. You needn't shout at me like that".

But the old man was devil personified, he again shot his volley of words and I too returned the favour. That created enough commotion and the conductor asked me to get off the bus. I refused as I felt I had done nothing wrong. Next moment I was shoved off the bus.

All the people in the bus were having fun at my cost and now the people at the bus stop were staring at me as if I was some criminal. I was angry, ashamed and embarrassed at what happened. I couldn't wait for another bus at that stop.

So I decided to walk to the next bus stop to save myself from any more embarrassment. I was mad at that old man for my situation and badly wanted to thrash his head. My head was filled with all negative thoughts and I had an urge to thrash or break something. Then something hit me hard in the back. That was it, I was looking to thrash someone and God has given me a chance. I turned around to kick whoever it was. Then I saw a young kid who had fallen of his cycle, I controlled my foot but wanted to scold him badly but then I realized how he fell. His trousers got stuck in the chain and were torn and his limbs were bruised. It wasn't wholly his mistake and such mishaps do happen. I had been in that situation before but I learnt not to panic whenever my trousers got stuck in the chain. I lifted him up and and gave him a tip on controlling the cycle. He said sorry for the crash and thanked me and rode away. I felt nice and my heart unburdened .
Then I realized the old man too must have been in some bad mood and that explained his rude behaviour. I felt sorry and regretted for hitting back at the old man.

That day I learnt my lesson on anger control. I still need to learn some anger management skills but I am sure this game of life will teach everything as I take my step forward.